Step Back Ladies, The Man Is In Charge: How NOT To Lead Your Dance Partner
Alright ladies, we know how this works. You want to learn how to dance and you found yourself a reluctant partner. Or it could be the other way around, he has dragged you into the dance class and you have a bad attitude. He is being a little slow on learning the steps and your patience is wearing thin, thus, you start taking the lead to get it over with. When the dance instructor takes notice, he or she will scold you. To save your dance partner and yourself the embarrassment, here is your guide for choosing the right person to dance with and making the most of your dance experience. Most importantly, this is a guide on how to stop being dominant and how to act on the dance floor with your partner!
Choosing a Partner:
-To start things off, you have to figure out a dance style that you want to learn. Once you have that covered, the next step is finding a partner. Ideally you want to have a partner at the same dance level as yourself, however, that will most likely never be the case. Instead, choose a dance partner that you know, the key is that you are comfortable
and will have fun. Even if at first he has his doubts, it could become a fun experience for you both. Your job is to make sure that you can provide him and yourself a comfortable and electric dance experience and his job is to lead you into it!
-Upon conducting a survey asking both men and women who their ideal dance partner would be, the most common answers were a significant other or a good friend. However, for men, the experience level of their dance partner was important, wanting to dance with someone with more experience or at their same level. Women mostly wanted someone at their same dance level. It has been noted, however, that not many men actually like to dance. Finding a male dance partner is the biggest problem of them all, according to statistics. Once you find a willing dance partner, its time to get the ball rolling and get out on that dance floor!
Relax. Breathe. Smile:
-So you have a few dance classes under your belt and he has nothing to contribute. Or simply, one of you just does not want to be there and your attitude is sour. The only thing the two of you are doing is rocking back and forth while he mumbles the counts of the steps. Quite possibly you are falling asleep on your feet. You want to try the new turn your class just learned figuring it would at least break the monotony of swaying side-to-side so you ask him to try, but instead he keeps counting away. Impatience flares and you throw yourself into the turn, possibly tripping over his feet, if not your own in the process. Instead of getting defensive and insulting, laugh it off, apologize, and wait for him to catch up to you.
-Feel the beat of the music, feel the rhythm of each other’s bodies and go with the flow. There is no need to rush the dance and absolutely no need to be edgy. You chose this specific person to learn the dance with for a reason, you are already in class, so relax and have fun!
-If dancing is not your thing, then be honest with your partner so you can find a common ground that interests the both of you. Dancing should be a fun experience for you both, not a requirement for one party involved.
Be Informative, But Not Bossy:
-He messed up and you start scolding him. The public display is rather embarrassing and can be disruptive to other dancers. If he steps on your foot, accidentally kicks you, or even drops you, do not start yelling. Take a step back, brush it off, accept his apology and calmly tell him what he has done wrong. He will likely be more receptive to the information that you provide him and your dance space will not be filled with unwanted tension. You want to keep your space comfortable and want him to keep dancing with you.
-Also, if either one of you has any questions, please ask your dance instructor. Everyone is there to learn and help each other. Watch other dancers and observe. One of you may have some experience, but remember, the other may not.
-Switching partners sometimes allows a different dance experience and some instructors advise this during class. As an eye witness account, I have seen a couple who has argued with the dance instructor that they refused to change dance partners. Surveying both genders on their stance to this puzzling announcement, there seems to be a tie between the negative and the positive. The most common response weighing on the negative was the level of being uncomfortable with dancing with a new partner. Other responses ranged from experience level, selfconsciousness, and even not wanting to touch a stranger! However, the positive responses were as simple as this-switching things up and getting a fresh perspective with a new dance partner, even for just one song, added to the learning experience.
-Just remember ladies, if your instructor insists on switching partners in class, this is not the time or the place to play jealous girlfriend. Your partner is probably just as uncomfortable dancing with someone different as you are, so please be kind and use etiquette. Again, breathe, relax, and smile! This is a time for fun!
Do you think you are ready to learn how to dance with your partner? If you follow the suggestions above, everything should be smooth sailing for prancing across that dance floor with someone you like spending time with. Enjoy the music, enjoy each other, and most of all, enjoy the dance experience!
By Debra Gilbert